For those tip-of-the-tongue moments when you're surfing the Zeitgeist but can't quite remember where you are, here is malapropism for the 21st-century. Compiled by Christopher Norris. All views expressed are my own
Diagnosed in 1995, she was given the drug Tysabri and, recovery in hand, has taken up drag racing to publicise the cause. And to take on new risks to her health.
Biogen Idec Inc., Elan and the MS Trust will be glad of the good publicity and the likely increase in prescription rate of the life-restoring drug.
Until now. Cheryl Cole has malaria and may be starting a trend. Amir Khan, the boxer, has collapsed with the same mystery disease.
No one famous has recently croaked from tuberculosis, syphilis. polio, cholera or a flu epidemic but with global travel increasing and the losing battle against bug evolution means it may just be a matter of time.
The bones of the artist have been identified in Tuscany and they show signs of lead poisoning.
Caravaggio died at 38 after an eventful life. But how come the likes of Michelangelo (89 years), Leonardo da Vinci (67 years) and Titian (91-plus years) lived into old age, despite prolific output of paintings?
Is this a genetic pre-disposition to absorbing lead, was Caravaggio a workaholic, or did he simply use different paints to the others?
Conservationists in Guatemala have built of the findings on scientists at Bronx Zoo in New York City, who experimented with 23 different scents to attract the animals to camera traps. The outright winner was Calvin Klein's 'Obsession for men': the musky scent grabbed the jaguars' attention for 11.1 minutes on average.
In the wild, the scent is proving hotter than catnip. Male and female jaguars rubbed their cheeks on rags sprayed with the cologne fulfilling the hope that images of the creatures could be captured by heat- and motion-sensitive cameras. Little-seen behaviours, including mating rituals, have been captured on film.
If the marketeers at Calvin Klein have any sense, it should be a no-brainer to revamp their 'Obsession for men' ads with images of jaguars and other big cats along with a slogan like 'Bring out your wild side with ...'
Now they are going for the grand finale: cutting the pipe in half further down its length to get a clean break, and then trying the capping procedure all over again.
It's all in the name of Elephant Parade, a campaign to highlight the loss of habitat for Asian elephants. The artworks will be auctioned at Sotheby's in July with a view to raising £2 million for the cause: all assuming trophy hunters don't cart the artefacts off to the black market before the game keepers can react.
Whither Sarah Palin? Should baby still be drilling? She has been more muted since the crisis began, apart from tweeting her condolences to the families of the dead oil workers.
Hmm. I suppose much rests how how much the American people will take when it comes to increased gasoline prices. Voters can have short memories, when environmental catastrophe comes up against people's personal budgets.
Someday in the distant future there will be a bestselling, warts-and-all biography on the life and times of Oprah Winfrey. But 'distant future' is the defining phrase here, even as arch-reputation puncturer Kitty Kelley's book hits the stores.
When this mortal coil forces Ms Winfrey beyond the reach of her lawyers, publishers will finally have a field day. Protective shields around stars create mystery that the media loves to destroy. The second law of thermodynamics applies to celebrities too: the entropy of the universe of gossip is always increasing.
Prediction time: David Tennant won't be featuring on British television until Matt Smith is firmly established as the new incarnation of Doctor Who. And, when he does, it will be in a radically different role.
Will this make any difference to the energy and balance of new life? Not in the long term: although scientists will keep a look out for long-term climate trends.
Clocking up thousands of air-miles to leave massive carbon footprints, although Mr Dimbleby has travelled less far than the others. Professor Cox, in particular, seems to present moments from exotic locations all over the globe.
On the other hand, landmark series do benefit from presents getting up close and personal with different Earth environments and artefacts in situ to make their points. And campaigning to prevent one person and their television crew from flying around the place won't independently prevent specific aeroplanes from taking off.
Perhaps landmark series that get sold abroad prevent national television networks from sending their own presenters to make similar programmes, which reduces the overall negative effect on the environment.
One useful advance might be to publish the carbon footprint figure for each episode during the closing credits for each show, backed up with explanations on websites as to how production teams and presenters travelled around during recces and film shoots. An appropriate number of trees could than be planted to offset the damage.
All of the above ideas have been inspired by fiction, written and visual. Perhaps even more creative work can be achieved where artists have yet to tread? Unless, of course, the artistic visualisation of a gadget has to precede the need to create it.
Science fiction? No, this is a real publicity drive punching a coach and horses through ethical worries about the sanctity of new life. This is bingo for babies: the winner cries 'House' and takes the DNA home.
Whether the initiative is banned or not it has succeeded in promoting its services. And it proves that people will always push against the boundaries of taste and decency to get noticed. We have gone from surrogate mothers to surrogate egg farmers in 25 years.
The Bookseller has released the shortlist for this year's Diagram Prize for oddest unintentional book title of the year. The candidates for this celebrated yet dubious honour are:
I have always thought this prize interesting yet somehow snarky: laughing behind hands at the implied silliness of the titles. How much more fascinating it would be to know the sales figures and the Amazon ranking of odd titles. Profitable oddity would be a cause really worth celebrating.
The latest hamstring injury revolves around a new safety issue. The Collider currently operates at 7 trillion electron-volts, but is having to shut for a year in order to cope with twice that amount.
For a bunch of elite physicists, eminently bright, this lack of mathematical forecasting regarding the level of energy needed to recreate Big Bang conditions seems a little baffling.
Maybe the maths is developing at the same rate as the science? And, in the final analysis, will twelve months slip by before the boffins realise that 14 trillion electron-volts is not enough?
by James A Yannes;
by D W T Crompton;
by Ronald C Arkin;
by Ellen Scherl and Marla Dubinsky;
by Daina Taimina; and
by Tara Jansen-Meyer.
