Florida: Fahrenheit 451

Ray Bradbury's novel Fahrenheit 451 derived its title from the temperature at which paper burns. Florida is feeling the heat from around the world about the pastor Terry Jones on/off campaign to incinerate copies of the Koran at the Dove World Outreach.

This is the stuff of fatwa. You don't hear stories of people burning Bibles, Torahs or, to the frank, any kind of book (apart from the Nazis), so this proposed action is incendiary to the Muslim world.

The proposed compromise, to move the location of an Islamic Centre in Manhattan, is probably a non-starter in that the site is two blocks away from Ground Zero.

This row is dangerous and, whatever happens, Mr Jones has succeeded in strengthening the common stereotype of the United States as an arrogant, intolerant state. Although this is a simplistic and wrong-headed view, there are extremists in the country who play to the gallery.

Terrorism may increase in the short term, Osama bin Laden will probably release a video, and Mr Jones may need to employ enhanced security measures for himself and his church.


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Who do you think you are? Royalty?

Actually, in the cases of Matthew Pinsent and Alexander Armstrong the answer is 'Yes'.

Alexander Armstrong traced his ancestry back to William the Conqueror and Matthew Pinsent was related to God, via Edward the Confessor.

There seems to be one episode every series that deals with a celebrity's distant relationship to the English aristocracy and, in Boris Johnson's case, the European monarchies.

The other staple is the Holocaust story: such as Stephen Fry, Jerry Springer, and Esther Rantzen (the family that got away)

The producers must approach about twenty celebrities per series to work out which stories are the most interesting.

Perhaps the groundwork is done before filming starts. Rumour has it that an episode featuring Michael Parkinson was canned on account of Mr Parkinson being the most interesting person in his own family.


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The Prints of Darkness

Peter Mandelson's political memoirs, The Third Man, are shining a torch on to the divisions between Gordon Brown and Tony Blair when in government as New Labour, especially over the inference that Blair promised to hand over prime-ministerial power to Brown in 2003.

But whatever happened to Chatham House Rules? When is it a good time to publish political autobiographies? The best option is immediately after a general election loss, despite the risk of short-term damage. In this case, any furore will have died down by the September party conference, when a new leader will be chosen.

Presumably Lord Mandelson must feel his front-bench career is over to be quite so candid. Whether this is a wise decision or not will become clear in the next few years as the coalition will live or die by the outcomes of their draconian policies.


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Olympic dash to trash mascots

The case for the prosecution: the internet art-hackers have already struck.

The case for the defence: previous Games avatars have had an airing.

The rush to lampoon Wenlock and Mandeville is no bad thing: the mascots have struck a chord, and will presumably any time soon be guest-appearance in a new episode of The Simpsons.


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Gallows humour at the Treasury

A comparison of Reginald Maudling and Liam Byrnes' respective notes to their successors in Government is illuminating.

In 1964, Reggie M greeted James Callaghan, the new Chancellor of the Exchequer, with the immortal words: 'Good luck, old cock. Sorry to leave it in such a mess.' The incident only came to light in subsequent memoirs.

Liam Byrne's letter to David Laws read: 'I'm afraid there's no money -- good luck.' A missive made public within a few days at a press conference.

Fifty years is clearly a geologic era in politics. The striking contrast is in media deference to politicians and the need to feed to 24-hour news cycle. In future, retiring politicians won't publish memoirs, they will launch retrospective vlogs on YouTube; and the 30-year rule that embargoes official secrets will be the exception rather than the rule.


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A word for the very wise

All Souls College, Oxford has abandoned its single-word essay examination.

Termination. Discuss.

Or not, from this year onwards.


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Political knife crime

Stabbed in the front: Stephen Timms, the safest Labour MP in the country, gets it in the stomach.

Stabbed in the back: senior Tory and Labour dinosaurs are already sharpening the cutlery already regarding the coalition Government.

The flashpoint is the mooted new rule about needing a 55 per cent for a 'no confidence' vote to succeed in bringing down the Government.

The press honeymoon, at least, is over.


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I wanna be elected

'I'm your top prime of meat, I'm your choice,' screamed Alice Cooper.

Is David Cameron 'a yankee doodle dandy in a gold Rolls-Royce'?

Do the 'kids need a saviour, a fake Gordon Brown'?

Are 'we all gonna rock to the rules Nick Clegg makes'?

We don't know yet, but we might know by the beginning of next week.

The LibDems and the Tories are playing footsie this evening talking about how the things they have in common might outweigh the things that keep them apart.


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A political tipping point?

A first for political journalism today. Gordon Brown and David Cameron were asked who they would support and which policies would be a priority in a hung parliament.

This is an Alice in Wonderland election, where the protagonist's name is Nick, and the Eat Me tag is printed on the voting booth slips. Curiouser and curiouser.

PS: The FT is not even ruling out an outright LibDem victory in the election.


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Get Carter, Jason Carter

On to Lumen this evening, for the ACG leg of guitarist Jason Carter's British tour. Awesome. Jason has taken his art further than ever with his harp guitar.

Well-travelled, often to areas described by President George W Bush as an 'axis of evil', Jason described how repressive regimes are often criticised symbolically through music (e.g. Sibelius composed Finlandia in 1899 as a burst of national pride ever though Finland was occupied at the time by Russia).

And this is why the Taliban in Afghanistan were so keen to destroy any cultural activity: they knew where potential opposition might germinate its feelings.


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How to get a Hollywood star in your home movie

If it's Keira Knightley, you've only got to ask at a dinner party; provided, of course, that it's an interesting project.

Miss Knightley said 'yes' to taking part for free in artist Stuart Pearson Wright's £15,000 video installation, playing an Elizabethan getting lost in a Tudor maze.

I don't imagine she'll make a habit of it, but as this was only one day's filming she may feel like she's a trendsetter?


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Lucy in the sky with the Doctor

Apparently if you remember the sixties you weren't really there.

The latest example of the cliché is that the regeneration of actors playing Doctor Who was based on the scriptwriter's idea of conveying a bad LSD trip.

Even in the laissez-faire teenies, I'm now sure Steven Moffat could get away with such blatant drug references scot free.


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Whatever lurve is ...

Not exactly an election antidote, but royal wedding rumours are gathering pace.

The odds on William and Kate tying the knot in 2010 have slashed, on the supposition of media stories and the fantasies of a bored nation. But punts like this can sometimes hit the mark.

The bookies must be wondering if the public have taken a liking to their proverbial shirts.


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Election launch: a nation reaches for the remote

Gordon Brown posed outside No. 10 Downing Street with his Cabinet. David Cameron stood on crates on his own outside County Hall, to frame the House of Commons in the background. Nick Clegg and Vince Cable launched their campaign from outside the LibDems Cowley Street headquarters.

The symbolism? Brown has a 'team to return him as Prime Minister'; Cameron wants to 'hide his team in his ambition to be Prime Minister'; Nick Clegg wants to 'show off Vince Cable as a potential Chancellor of the Exchequer'.

So it's a month of kissing babies, having cups of tea in semi-detached houses, and being hijacked by hecklers of opposite party hues. And come 6 May 2010, all this effort will boil down to a few dozen key marginals and the need for the Conservatives to gain a national swing of 6.9 per cent.

Fast-forward all the debate, play the odd gaffe in real time (and on YouTube), read the odd policy that relates directly to your material wealth, and moan in the pub over the odd pint, and the real world will soon hove into view once more on 7 May 2010 (or at least once the hung parliament coalition has been negotiated).


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David Who?

Prediction time: David Tennant won't be featuring on British television until Matt Smith is firmly established as the new incarnation of Doctor Who. And, when he does, it will be in a radically different role.

Also Christmas telly in 2010 will not be the celebration of the coming of the Scottish one (see previous post, And the Zelig prize for most ubiquitous actor goes to ...), unless of course her name is Karen Gillan: the Doctor's new (nubile) travelling companion.

Television evolutionary jumps can be as swift and ruthless as neo-Darwinism. The Doctor is dead; long live the Doctor.


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The Boat Race: a sporting throwback

The Corinthian spirit lives on in the University Boat Race.

Oxford and Cambridge universities have challenged each other to a rowing race on a set 4.5-mile course on the Thames, usually from Putney Bridge to Chiswick Bridge in London, most years since 1829.

There are always media stories about the competitors. This year's focus included the American twins, Cameron and Tyler Winklevoss: strapping 6ft 5in lads doing MBAs at Oxford, who happen to be social networking pioneers. They have successfully sued Mark Zuckerberg, the founder of Facebook, for ripping off their idea: litigation continues, but they have so far retrieved $65 million for their action.

Similar events in association football (e.g. the early years of the FA Cup), in rugby (e.g. the Barbarians scratch sides playing pseudo-internationals) and cricket (e.g. annually challenges between Eton and Harrow, and the Gentlemen versus Players) have either bitten the dust or lost much of their original national prestige or amateur status). Varsity matches between Oxford and Cambridge continue in various sports, but without international recognition.

The Boat Race is unique in retaining the spirit of a bygone Victorian era well into the 21st century.


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Hans Christian Andersen: 205 today

Google follows its own agenda. Most publishing ventures celebrate round numbers when it comes to rites of passage: 50, 100, 250 years after the event.

But not Google.

Today, behold, 205 years after the birth of Hans Christian Andersen, it is a Google tribute to 'Thumbelina'. Last week it was Jan Amos Komensky's 418th birthday hitting the spotlight. Last year the search engine celebrated 143 years of the life of H G Wells and the 2560th anniversary of Confucius. Just because Google can do what it fancies.

It's less a question of 'do no evil' as 'keep your competitors guessing'.


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Harry Potter and the Period Drama

Any visit to Lacock, Wiltshire can bring on that déjà vu feeling.

Stepping along the high street one can be forgiven for thinking Judi Dench is opening her front door in Cranford, Daniel Ratcliffe is having a private tutorial with Professor Slughorn (Jim Broadbent), and Jennifer Ehle and Colin Firth are avoiding each other through most of Pride and Prejudice.

Outside London, Lacock may be one of the most popular film locations in Britain. If anyone's done a headcount tally it would be interesting to know.

Television's footprint

Apart from presenting current high-profile television series, what do Profession Brian Cox [Wonders of the Solar System], David Dimbleby [The Seven Ages of Britain] and Simon Reeve [The Tropic of Cancer] have in common.

Clocking up thousands of air-miles to leave massive carbon footprints, although Mr Dimbleby has travelled less far than the others. Professor Cox, in particular, seems to present moments from exotic locations all over the globe.

What is the solution? No one wants a return to the studio-based Open University programmes of the 1970s, with archetypal boffins in brown cardigans using flashcards and blackboard pointers on shaky sets.

On the other hand, landmark series do benefit from presents getting up close and personal with different Earth environments and artefacts in situ to make their points. And campaigning to prevent one person and their television crew from flying around the place won't independently prevent specific aeroplanes from taking off.

Perhaps landmark series that get sold abroad prevent national television networks from sending their own presenters to make similar programmes, which reduces the overall negative effect on the environment.

One useful advance might be to publish the carbon footprint figure for each episode during the closing credits for each show, backed up with explanations on websites as to how production teams and presenters travelled around during recces and film shoots. An appropriate number of trees could than be planted to offset the damage.


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Sanus et lumen

The emperor Hadrian's ashes may be spinning in his mausoleum. His wall to mark out the edge of the Roman Empire in Britain was lit up with beacons to promote British tourism.

The organisers speculated as to whether or not the wall had ever been lit up this way across its whole length before, given that Britain was never invaded successfully from the North.

Who knows?

The event shows how ancient monuments can be used to promote modern events.

• Stonehenge to advertise the Olympics?
• Offa's Dyke to promote England playing Wales at rugby union at the Millennium Stadium?
• Sutton Hoo to market the Round-the-World yacht race?

What Hadrian himself would have made of the razzmatazz is anyone's guess. Perhaps he would have shipped the organisers off to Rome to be taught a lesson? Improper and insolent use of state fortifications may not have gone down well at all with the great man.


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