Krafty dealing

Now that Kraft has eaten Cadbury, what'll happen to the respective confectionery brands:

1. Kraft

• Terry's Chocolate Orange may go clockwork;
• Toblerone might run triangles around the opposition;
• Côte d'Or may trigger a gold rush;
• Terry's All Gold might beat them to them to them thar hills;
• Daim might take aim and shoot to kill.

2. Cadbury's

• Bubbaloo's bubble might burst;
• Cadbury's Creme Eggs may not get laid;
• Cadbury's Dairy Milk might be short of a pint;
• Dentyne Ice may leave a bad taste in the mouth;
• Cadbury's Eclairs might get clattered;
• Flake may crumble;
• Cadbury's Fruit and Nut might need rehab;
• Green & Black's may get a shiner and feel sick;
• Hollywood chewing gum might stick in the craw;
• Stimorol chewing gum may lack energy;
• Trident chewing gum might be a damp squib;
• Bassett's may get hounded;
• Bubblicious might have the wind taken out of it;
• Crunchie may lose its bite;
• Freddo might blow hot and cold;
• Milk Tray may not be what the lady loves;
• Moro might be no more;
• Mr Big may shrivel;
• Old Gold might be more oldie than goldie;
• Perk may have peaked;
• Maynards might not.

And what'll happen to Fair Trade? Chocolate lovers are running out of ethical options if they choose to shun Kraft-Cadbury and Nestlé.