Just wait for the revelations that the Rt Hon. John Bull-McJones has claimed for sponsoring his favourite Premiership soccer team for the last five years, that Tarquin St Jean Stately-Hume has flipped his mortgage on the ancestral pile with the Olympic stadium, and that Rosie Arran-Sweater has booked a family outing on a flight into space, all at the taxpayers' expense.
Just you wait, you heard it here first ...
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